Israel is a country of extremes. While shopping, you are either going to receive extremely good service or extremely bad service. The products you wish to purchase are either going to be extremely expensive or on an extremely good sale. Even the weather follows a pattern of extremes and right now it is extremely hot!
The relationship between body temperature and sleep is well documented. Our internal body temperature follows a 24 hour rhythm. Our average body temperature is about 37 degrees Celsius but fluctuates about a degree depending on the time of day. The lowest point occurs between 4 am to 5 am when we are usually in a deep sleep. It starts to rise at 6 am and reaches a peak at 12 pm. There is another dip in body temperature around 2 pm (about half a degree) and then body temperature rises to a peak at about 6 pm. After that our internal body temperature starts to fall again reaching its lowest point in the early hours of the morning. My description is purposely written in general terms because of course its dependent on many factors one of them being the place on the body where the measurements were taken. I am basing these numbers on average rectal temperature for the average healthy adult, should you wish to try this at home.
The interesting thing is that body temperature is very closely related to our levels of alertness. Simple personal observation (much less invasive than a rectal thermometer) should confirm this. As our body temperature rises at 6 am we are generally waking up. We are active the whole morning until 2 pm. This drop in body temperature is commonly referred to as our afternoon dip in alertness. We feel alert again until 6 pm. This is usually the time when our kids go crazy and we are panicking because its almost bed time. One of the main contributing factors to their sudden burst of energy is a peak in their body temperature. Please remember that what goes up must come down. As that peak in body temperature begins to drop, your kids should start to feel more sleepy. It would make sense that our body temperature drops while we are sleeping and inactive but keep in mind that the drop in body temperature cues the sleepiness not the other way around. So if you are very active in the night you are still going to feel sleepy because your internal body temperature has dropped. Whether you respond to those sleepiness cues or not is your decision.
This 24 hour rhythm of body temperature and levels of alertness is usually programmed in babies after about 6 weeks. We need to be aware of our children's sleepiness cues which brings me to my favorite topic: routine, routine, routine!
Of course living in the middle of a desert which is cleverly disguised as a modern city comes with its challenges. Its very hot outside and we have to cool down at night in order to cue sleep. Its not comfortable to sleep in a hot environment so for every member of the family the environmental temperature plays an important role in healthy sleep. Dr Harvey Karp suggests that your baby's room should be warmer during the day and cooler at night. Recommended nighttime environmental temperature between 16- 21 degrees Celsius for infants and babies (also linked to prevention of SIDS). For toddlers and children the recommended room temperature is between 18 and 22 degrees Celsius.
I am not going to recommend any one method of keeping the room cool, fans, air conditioner or even an open window are acceptable. Please make sure your child is not sleeping next to the open window. Dress them in cool breathable pajamas with a single layer of bedding.
I appreciate that some of my readers are currently experiencing winter. Keep the room warm (follow recommendations above) but don't overheat your child's sleep environment. Don't overdress your child and add just one extra layer of bedding, don't smother them with too many blankets.
Whether you are currently day dreaming of the snow or sitting on a hot beach eating ice creams, I wish you all a healthy sleep in a comfortable, temperature-controlled room.
Monday, 23 June 2014
Wednesday, 18 June 2014
Feeling safe
My five year old daughter has bright red hair together with a fiery personality. Her sharp mind is matched by her sharp tongue. She will have no problem explaining to you how the world works according to her. A few months ago I was talking to her about microorganisms. We discussed what they are, where we can find them and that some are helpful while others can make us sick. I certainly managed to feed her ever growing thirst for knowledge but the aftermath of these fruitful discussions was that she became afraid to fall asleep. It took a lot of convincing before I was able to assure her that the microorganisms were not going to eat her while she was sleeping.If she only knew that of the 100 trillion cells in our body only on tenth are human and the rest are bacteria, viruses and other microorganisms. In other words when we look at ourselves in the mirror we are made up of more microbes than human.
Recent events in Israel have left us feeling very exposed and unsafe. I don't think there is a single mother in Israel who has slept soundly at night since the news broke of the three kidnapped boys. Truthfully I don't know how the mothers of Naphtali, Gilad and Eyal can find a moments rest. My personal prayer is that they should be returned home safely and speedily and that their families find the strength to never give up hope. News of this unforgivable act of terrorism has been shared on everyone's facebook page, twitter and e mail. Prayer for the boys safe return is on everyone's lips.The slogan BRING OUR BOYS BACK has already been posted on buses and I believe you can buy the T-shirt.
The question remains how do we talk to our children about what has happened? I am no psychologist and I am certainly not even going to attempt to answer this question. Our kids very keenly aware of what is going on. Whether the teacher has discussed it in kindergarten (which I heard was the case in some schools) or they have heard it from their friends in the playground or even from the hushed discussions between parents when we think they aren't listening, the fact remains that our children know that three boys were taken away from their mommies and we don't know where they are.
I have heard of a few parents voicing concerns that their children are now afraid to fall asleep at night. Children sometimes function outside of the realm of logic. Arguing that the door is locked, mommy is here or that no-one can climb through the window and take you away might not be enough. My advice is to give your child one thing to focus on, that they know will keep them safe. It could be their favorite bear (who is going to stay awake the whole night to watch them), blanket or pillow or any other object that your child personally connects to as something that gives them a sense of security. For my son its the red light from the mosquito coil that keeps him safe and for my daughter taking a bath every night kills all microorganisms and keeps her safe while she is sleeping. It doesn't have to be logical just a single thing that your child associates with love, safety and security.
I also recommend spending that extra five to ten minutes tucking them in at night. Give them one extra cuddle and reassure them that they are loved and safe. We have a sleep time motto that I recite with my children as I am tucking them in: "I am safe. I am tired. It's okay to sleep". I am sure that you can come up with your own more creative one but this one works for us.
Avoid getting into an argument with your children or start shouting and threatening them with punishment. If they climb out of bed put them straight back in bed. Be firm but loving. Try not to show signs of anger as this will just add to their insecurity. Help your child to feel loved and safe while making it clear that it is time to sleep.
My heartfelt prayer is that our children are returned home safely and speedily. May G-d grant strength to their families. Let them know that their pain is shared by all of Am Israel and they are not alone.
Recent events in Israel have left us feeling very exposed and unsafe. I don't think there is a single mother in Israel who has slept soundly at night since the news broke of the three kidnapped boys. Truthfully I don't know how the mothers of Naphtali, Gilad and Eyal can find a moments rest. My personal prayer is that they should be returned home safely and speedily and that their families find the strength to never give up hope. News of this unforgivable act of terrorism has been shared on everyone's facebook page, twitter and e mail. Prayer for the boys safe return is on everyone's lips.The slogan BRING OUR BOYS BACK has already been posted on buses and I believe you can buy the T-shirt.
The question remains how do we talk to our children about what has happened? I am no psychologist and I am certainly not even going to attempt to answer this question. Our kids very keenly aware of what is going on. Whether the teacher has discussed it in kindergarten (which I heard was the case in some schools) or they have heard it from their friends in the playground or even from the hushed discussions between parents when we think they aren't listening, the fact remains that our children know that three boys were taken away from their mommies and we don't know where they are.
I have heard of a few parents voicing concerns that their children are now afraid to fall asleep at night. Children sometimes function outside of the realm of logic. Arguing that the door is locked, mommy is here or that no-one can climb through the window and take you away might not be enough. My advice is to give your child one thing to focus on, that they know will keep them safe. It could be their favorite bear (who is going to stay awake the whole night to watch them), blanket or pillow or any other object that your child personally connects to as something that gives them a sense of security. For my son its the red light from the mosquito coil that keeps him safe and for my daughter taking a bath every night kills all microorganisms and keeps her safe while she is sleeping. It doesn't have to be logical just a single thing that your child associates with love, safety and security.
I also recommend spending that extra five to ten minutes tucking them in at night. Give them one extra cuddle and reassure them that they are loved and safe. We have a sleep time motto that I recite with my children as I am tucking them in: "I am safe. I am tired. It's okay to sleep". I am sure that you can come up with your own more creative one but this one works for us.
Avoid getting into an argument with your children or start shouting and threatening them with punishment. If they climb out of bed put them straight back in bed. Be firm but loving. Try not to show signs of anger as this will just add to their insecurity. Help your child to feel loved and safe while making it clear that it is time to sleep.
My heartfelt prayer is that our children are returned home safely and speedily. May G-d grant strength to their families. Let them know that their pain is shared by all of Am Israel and they are not alone.
Thursday, 12 June 2014
Sometimes its okay to break the rules
From a young age we are taught the value of rules and boundaries. Color in the lines, don't stick your hand in the fire (yes in Africa I grew up with a fire place), wear matching clothes and behave! The entire school system is based on following rules in order to achieve the desired outcome. We are so institutionalized in this way of thinking that certainly the idea of "thinking outside the box" is sometimes so far out of our comfort zones we are afraid to do it. Many parenting books (especially the sleep ones) are simply a compilation of rules and boundaries set up by that particular author, follow my formula and your baby will sleep.
Admittingly, I am one of those people who thrives in rules. Give me a structure so that I can function safely within it. Last night I received a wake up call. Since its the last month of our school year, we are very busy with end of year concerts. Naturally they are all in the early evening because I am clearly the only parent in Jerusalem who is following the rules of a regular bath and bedtime. Yesterday evening I BROKE THE RULES at six o clock in the evening my children (aged 3 and 5) were not in their scheduled bath but rather sitting in a hall watching their sisters dance concert. The sleep consultant had broken her bedtime rules, the sacred schedule had been tampered with and guess what my children not only survived they had fun. While it felt good to bend the rules I do have some cautionary comments to make:
1.Adjusting the bedtime routine is definitely allowed from time to time but there needs to be a norm which is firmly established so that children and even young babies will be able to sense the difference.
2. I didn't break the rules, I bent them. I still bathed my children before we left and packed sandwiches for them to eat so theoretically they still ate dinner at their regular time. When we arrived home at eight thirty all we had to do was change into pajamas, brush teeth and bedtime.
3. You need to know, this is especially true of babies, that sleep deprived kids usually do not sleep well at night. Sleep debt is not something that once incurred can be paid off with subsequent sleeps. Once you have lost that time to sleep its gone forever. Remember that your body is not sleeping while you are sleeping. Many vital processes occur during sleep and persistent sleep deprivation will eventually take its toll on your physical well being.
4. A routine itself should allow for some degree of flexibility. As long is your child is going to sleep at the same- ish time every night and that the series of events that lead up to sleep usually occur in some regular order, then you have successfully established a bedtime routine.
So I confess that even the sleep consultant occasionally messes with the bedtime routine but in order to bend the rules you have to have them firmly established in the first place.
Admittingly, I am one of those people who thrives in rules. Give me a structure so that I can function safely within it. Last night I received a wake up call. Since its the last month of our school year, we are very busy with end of year concerts. Naturally they are all in the early evening because I am clearly the only parent in Jerusalem who is following the rules of a regular bath and bedtime. Yesterday evening I BROKE THE RULES at six o clock in the evening my children (aged 3 and 5) were not in their scheduled bath but rather sitting in a hall watching their sisters dance concert. The sleep consultant had broken her bedtime rules, the sacred schedule had been tampered with and guess what my children not only survived they had fun. While it felt good to bend the rules I do have some cautionary comments to make:
1.Adjusting the bedtime routine is definitely allowed from time to time but there needs to be a norm which is firmly established so that children and even young babies will be able to sense the difference.
2. I didn't break the rules, I bent them. I still bathed my children before we left and packed sandwiches for them to eat so theoretically they still ate dinner at their regular time. When we arrived home at eight thirty all we had to do was change into pajamas, brush teeth and bedtime.
3. You need to know, this is especially true of babies, that sleep deprived kids usually do not sleep well at night. Sleep debt is not something that once incurred can be paid off with subsequent sleeps. Once you have lost that time to sleep its gone forever. Remember that your body is not sleeping while you are sleeping. Many vital processes occur during sleep and persistent sleep deprivation will eventually take its toll on your physical well being.
4. A routine itself should allow for some degree of flexibility. As long is your child is going to sleep at the same- ish time every night and that the series of events that lead up to sleep usually occur in some regular order, then you have successfully established a bedtime routine.
So I confess that even the sleep consultant occasionally messes with the bedtime routine but in order to bend the rules you have to have them firmly established in the first place.
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