I don't know about you but it often happens to me that when I am in conversation with someone they might make a comment or ask a question and its only days later that I think of the perfect response. A few months ago I met my ex boss from my working days in South Africa. In polite conversation she asked me how I was settling into life in Israel in after making Aliya five years previously. I replied that while we were doing great there are still moments when I feel like a new immigrant. "You know Heidi" she had said to me "when one emigrates to a new country you will never fully fit in, you will always feel like an immigrant". I politely agreed and we moved on. Here's what I should have said..
Look around you, almost every Israeli has a story of how they got here. In essence Israel is just a melting pot of "immigrants" who have found their way home. I am proud to be home and I'm proud to be part of the story.
Recently, while shopping in a mall, I met a grandmother who was enjoying a morning out with her daughter and grandchild. "Tell me something", she demanded, "my grandchild is almost nine months old, surely babies should be sleeping through the night at this age." Once again here is what I should have said...
Not necessarily. Who is dictating this rule to us? All the sleep books? The internet? Sleep experts? While its true that most babies after the age of six months usually tend to sleep through the night its certainly not true for all babies. Some babies develop this skill after six weeks and some only start to sleep through the night after a year.
There are a few misconceptions about sleep and sleep training which I feel must be clarified.
Babies don't read the books
Please please remember that any chart published about average sleep requirements for babies are exactly that, a list of average numbers based on a certain sample population. Your baby might fall into that average or he may not. Some babies sleep less and some sleep more. You shouldn't have unrealistic expectations about the duration of your baby's sleep.
Every child in unique
I know this seems quite obvious but every child is different. What worked for your oldest might not work for your baby. Even worse is that we so often compare ourselves to our friends or other moms on Facebook groups. Just because their six month old is sleeping through the night doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong.
The internet said...
All the information available today is very empowering but also has its dangers. If you do decide to change your baby's sleep patterns please remember to take into consideration your baby's personality, your parenting approach and what will work best for your family. There is no standard sleep approach that works for everyone.
Most importantly please remember that as parents we all get it wrong sometimes. Don't be too hard on yourself if your child has developed some negative sleep habits. In my experience negative sleep habits can almost always be changed into positive ones given time and patience. Sometimes as mothers we have to remind ourselves to worry a little less and breath a little more.
