Fifteen minutes

All it takes is fifteen minutes

It is very difficult for any mom to willingly accept criticism about her parenting skills… especially when that criticism comes from the mother in law. With difficulty, I was able to suppress that stubborn, independent part of me and yielded to the voice of reason (even though it was the voice of the mother in law) and it has literally changed my life.

A typical afternoon before the unwanted (but much needed) advice was dominated chaos. Every afternoon I watched in horror as toys are artfully distributed throughout my house because my lounge is now the inside of a spaceship or some underwater sea world. Naturally the walls need to be redecorated with crayon or paint. Neatly folded laundry goes flying across the room and of course there is the ever present “mommmmy I am hungry what is there to eat.” Has the sea monster which was once a perfectly clean sofa suddenly come and sucked all the nutrients out of your body because I fed you five minutes ago! Screaming, crying and yelling are not uncommon sounds to be coming out of the Romain household as I silently thank G-d for my elderly hopefully hard of hearing neighbors.

Enter the mother in law. Heidi, she calmly said after another typical disastrous afternoon. You are not spending enough time with your kids. NOT SPENDING ENOUGH TIME WITH MY KIDS is she insane my whole life is my kids! Then she explained about the fifteen minutes a day rule. Each child needs fifteen minutes personal one on one playtime with mom every day.

Child psychologists confirm that attention= love for children. Experts claim we need no practice “parenting meditation”. As parents we need to spend time everyday focusing on seeing our kids, understanding them and seeing the world through their eyes. 

But I don’t need the science as proof. I can honestly say I am a calmer, happier mom and wife. My children have learned to cherish our time together and respect the time of others. I am learning that folded laundry and clean floors is not what makes a happy home and that peanut butter on toast is a perfectly acceptable dinner as long as I have spent forty five minutes playing with my three kids.

My goal is to provide scientifically sound sleep advice each week on topics of interest. I know my personal story is not about sleep (thank G-d my kids are really good sleepers) but the connection is as follows: often children don’t want to go to bed at night because they are anxious and afraid to let go of mom. If we give our kids that much needed quality time during the day perhaps it will relieve their anxiety at night and we will be able to kiss them goodnight knowing they are peacefully drifting into sleep feeling safe and loved. All it takes is fifteen minutes.